Struggles of High Schooler

NOTE: This poem is dedicated to my beloved late grandfather. We shared a really special bond with him and his death has left us in peril. He was my personal counselor and understood me in ways that nobody can.

  Nothing   lasts   forever, but  is  that really true? The  ache   I   feel  in my  heart  when  I   think  of  you, seems  to  stay  the same. Mourning lost opportunities, shedding tears of  shame , seems to  be  my new routine. Did I prevent you from becoming the best? Did   I  hold  you  down? I   watched   you  wither as  you   tried   to  break   free but  you  never gave  up. Your  courage   gave  me  hope, made  me  believe  that not all was lost. Nothing lasts  forever, I  guess  that is true, because now I  see  you smiling in the  mirror, a smile so new and  I hope to hold on to it forever. ~Riya

  In these 19 years of my life, I have been really good at my studies. Well, this is what I  thought until I gave my JEE(Joint Entrance Examination) exam. For peeps who are not familiar with it, JEE is an exam to get admission to top engineering colleges such as IITs, IIITs, NITs, etc.  Till 10th standard I was really good at maths and science and scored well in my boards examination, as a result, I chose non-medical stream in 11th grade and hence started preparing for JEE. I worked really hard for two years but sadly I was not able to make it to the top institutes of my country. When JEE results came out, the atmosphere of my house turned gloomy. My parents and grandparents were so disappointed, and all those phone calls from family friends and relatives made the situation even worse. I started to doubt my capabilities and my future. At that moment all I saw was a future so unclear that it scared me. I was rejected from top institutes and the one in which I was accepted ...